Bread and Bread

Google sinus headache, subcategory mucus Do not Google brain tumor When Google autocompletes "do sinus headaches have the same symptoms as" with "brain tumor," wonder if this is because sinus headaches have the same symptoms as, or because others are as anxious and sick in the head, haha, as you and artificial intelligence knows we are dumb Google brain tumor Say all the wrong things Resent her for dredging up your old apocalypses Wonder if she resented you when you were sick Know the answer Text your friends Text your doctor friend Call your sister Call your therapist Call your therapist back when the call breaks up twice Escalate: in the morning you spoke of sinus and tension Now, migraines and neurologists Hell is waiting for the results of an MRI Crunch numbers 20,000 Americans will be diagnosed with a brain tumor this year Calculate, add fairy dust, arrive at a .01% chance of brain tumor in this singular adulthood that belongs to a...

1. barnacles “Every time I work directly with students, it helps me do my job better.” I say this a lot, to myself and others, but there’s a part of me that believes anything that’s too much fun, or too meaningful, must not be my actual job. I had a very vegetables-first upbringing. That analogy doesn’t work, though, because my point here is that candy is nutritious. As I was packing up to leave the office on Wednesday, Cathy, our Field Trips Coordinator, asked if anyone present had Barnacle experience. Mr. and Mrs. Barnacle are the fictional husband-wife team who run the publishing house inside each 826 location. When elementary school students file in, the day’s field trip leaders explain that one of their bosses is so nice! Always knitting sweaters for penguins, etc. The other is, well, kind of grumpy. But no worries, that Barnacle is out today. Then Mr. or Mrs. Barnacle (depending who is playing the curmudgeonly publisher that day) comes booming through the...