tops, bottoms and sneetches
The gay marriage/interracial marriage analogy is an easy one (and a valid one, I maintain), but this article AK sent me points out that maybe we should spend less time talking about how the controversy is like racism and more about how it is sexism—and how it reflects our culture’s deep passion for gender roles: http://www.slate.com/id/2204661.In other words, for all you ladies who’ve had the privilege of answering the question, “Which one of you is the man?” from some confused relative, yes, it all comes down to tops and bottoms.
God, there are so many dissertations to be written here! The Judith Butler-y one about how butch/femme roles highlight the fakeness and slipperiness of straight gender roles. The one about how everyone wants to claim the civil rights movement for themselves, from the people who say, “You stole my right to get married” to the ones who are like, “You stole my right to not have to see you get married,” to the point where it’s all star-bellied Sneetch-ish. Thank god I’m not a grad student and can just post three-paragraph blog entries instead.
Comments
It's weird how gay issues are viewed as separate from sexism. I'm guilty of it myself...it's how I'm accustomed to hearing about the issues, the frameworks most often presented. However it makes total sense that what's most threatening about gay relationships to the homophobic crowd is the upending of gender roles and expectations.
In my relationship with my male partner, I catch myself alternating between wondering if I'm more like my mother with him, or more like my father.
Probably a little of both, which, even for straight people, is a very normal part of the whole Gender Blender.
Yay!
will we ever get over our insecurities?
PV: I've had the thought that B, my ex, was more like my dad, and AK is more like my mom. I don't know what that says about me or gender roles, just that I get reeeally squeamish when I think about dating my parents.
J: Probably not.