Monday, June 29, 2009

what i have learned in researching mermaid tattoos

1. This blog provides good ideas of what not to do, and even better commentary. It also makes me a little nervous. I wouldn't want to end up on there. But by forgoing text (I love words so much that having one tattooed on me would just be too distracting), I eliminate the possibility of misspelling, which cuts my chances of appearing in the Gallery of Regrets by at least fifty percent.

2. It's all about the tits. Even though I walked into Artifact Tattoo with a ready-made mermaid, Justin gave me a couple of mermaid art books to look through for additional ideas. "Do you want her boobs to show?" he asked. My mermaid is roughly a B-cup, not hidden by cheesy, strategically-placed hair, but kind of in the shadows. Technically her boobs do show. So what he must have meant was, "Do you want her giant porno tits to protrude into the viewer's face as if she were shot with one of those trick lenses they use for those photos of big-nosed dogs?" The answer to that would be...no.

9 comments:

jenny said...

This one seems really nice. Is that what you had in mind...? ;)

That tattoo blog is one of my faves - you can spend hours looking through the cautionary tattoo tales.

Cheryl said...

She's nice...but I think her boobs are too small.

Steve said...

And why is there a star over her vagina?

Cheryl said...

Which brings us to the oft-unspoken question we all have about mermaids, which is: Where do they keep their private parts? Under a layer of scales? (We have all wondered that, right? Or is it just me?)

Claire said...

It's like that episode of Futurama that takes place under the sea. Fry and Mermaid fall in love until it's time for the sex. Apparently there's egg-laying involved...

The tattoo site scarred my brain a little. Words are probably what I'd be most tempted to get, and yet, it does seem too risky...

Cheryl said...

Have you heard about that short story project in which a bunch of people from all over the world get one word each tattooed on their bodies? Crazy and amazing: http://ineradicablestain.com/

Claire said...

I hadn't. That's pretty trippy.

Pedro said...

A Hollywood mermaid would have to be stacked, you know, for airbrushed pictures. Real mermaids are all about smaller boobs. It helps them keep up with dolphins during play dates.

Cheryl said...

It's true, you don't see many D-cup Olympic swimmers.