and jesus said: girls have cooties

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Some questions:
  • So, when you say you’re a “rough rider,” you mean you’re into wearing your socks gangsta-style and sampling police sirens, but not hugging girls in a way that might cause you to brush up against fully-clothed boobies? Just checking.
  • ~2:10: Ooh, burn, Angelina Jolie! You know it’s not cool to buy babies from developing countries. Here’s a better idea: Just send some good old-fashioned missionaries!
  • ~2:15: Wait, what about the democratic shift in congress? And how does it relate to hugging? Are you shouting “Repub” in the background? I’m confused, because you just said that Obama was a fist-bumping, non-hugging role model.
  • Although…Republicans are more likely to promote abstinence-only education. Those slutty Dems are always encouraging kids to put on body condoms (known as “clothing”) and front hug anyone who buys them a drink.
  • ~2:56: Oh, man, I wish gay marriage was legal so I could front hug all day long. Is that how babies are made?
  • ~3:25: Check out those red-hoodied jezebels trying to front hug our front man. “Jesus never hugged nobody like that!” Really? There’s a biblical passage describing what kind of hugs Jesus didn’t give? That book has more answers than Savage Love!
Give it up for Christ’s love, yo.

Comments

Claire said…
Your commentary made me laugh. Couldn't bring myself to watch though since I have an aversion to Christian rock...rap? is that what this is? uf. Anyway, while driving in unknown parts I always feel duped when I hear the Jesus lyrics start in some catchy pop tune on the radio. I refuse to subject myself to it intentionally. You've made it tempting though. :)
December 5, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Cheryl said…
Trust me, it's worth it.
December 6, 2009 at 8:47 AM
Claire said…
Oh my brain, it hurts. Made it to 3:49 and couldn't take anymore. I thought "Christian Side Hug" was a joke title.

On the upside, I think you can front hug all day long even though gay marriage isn't legal everywhere. This song seems aimed at opposite sex hugs (but then I can't say I listened super closely). Trouser tents or boobies squared=good. That's what I got out of it anyway. :)
December 6, 2009 at 6:00 PM
Cheryl said…
Yeah, there's totally a gay loophole in this song. (I should have warned you it would get stuck in your head.)
December 7, 2009 at 3:35 PM
deetles said…
SOOO funny! Thank you for posting this, I kind of needed to laugh until there was a little tear in my left eye, it's been one of those kinds of days!
December 8, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Cheryl said…
Don't thank me, thank the rappers-for-Jesus. :-)
December 9, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Cheryl said…
Damnit! I just heard that this was a fake. YouTube is no fun anymore.
December 10, 2009 at 3:50 PM
Michael DeAntonio said…
Cheryl, don't believe them. This video is real. It just has to be.
December 11, 2009 at 6:19 PM
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