Friday, December 04, 2009

and jesus said: girls have cooties


Some questions:
  • So, when you say you’re a “rough rider,” you mean you’re into wearing your socks gangsta-style and sampling police sirens, but not hugging girls in a way that might cause you to brush up against fully-clothed boobies? Just checking.
  • ~2:10: Ooh, burn, Angelina Jolie! You know it’s not cool to buy babies from developing countries. Here’s a better idea: Just send some good old-fashioned missionaries!
  • ~2:15: Wait, what about the democratic shift in congress? And how does it relate to hugging? Are you shouting “Repub” in the background? I’m confused, because you just said that Obama was a fist-bumping, non-hugging role model.
  • Although…Republicans are more likely to promote abstinence-only education. Those slutty Dems are always encouraging kids to put on body condoms (known as “clothing”) and front hug anyone who buys them a drink.
  • ~2:56: Oh, man, I wish gay marriage was legal so I could front hug all day long. Is that how babies are made?
  • ~3:25: Check out those red-hoodied jezebels trying to front hug our front man. “Jesus never hugged nobody like that!” Really? There’s a biblical passage describing what kind of hugs Jesus didn’t give? That book has more answers than Savage Love!
Give it up for Christ’s love, yo.

8 comments:

Claire said...

Your commentary made me laugh. Couldn't bring myself to watch though since I have an aversion to Christian rock...rap? is that what this is? uf. Anyway, while driving in unknown parts I always feel duped when I hear the Jesus lyrics start in some catchy pop tune on the radio. I refuse to subject myself to it intentionally. You've made it tempting though. :)

Cheryl said...

Trust me, it's worth it.

Claire said...

Oh my brain, it hurts. Made it to 3:49 and couldn't take anymore. I thought "Christian Side Hug" was a joke title.

On the upside, I think you can front hug all day long even though gay marriage isn't legal everywhere. This song seems aimed at opposite sex hugs (but then I can't say I listened super closely). Trouser tents or boobies squared=good. That's what I got out of it anyway. :)

Cheryl said...

Yeah, there's totally a gay loophole in this song. (I should have warned you it would get stuck in your head.)

deetles said...

SOOO funny! Thank you for posting this, I kind of needed to laugh until there was a little tear in my left eye, it's been one of those kinds of days!

Cheryl said...

Don't thank me, thank the rappers-for-Jesus. :-)

Cheryl said...

Damnit! I just heard that this was a fake. YouTube is no fun anymore.

Michael DeAntonio said...

Cheryl, don't believe them. This video is real. It just has to be.