patton oswalt: totally attractive unattractive guy

My latest TV binge is the first two seasons of United States of Tara, which is a frustrating show because it comes sooo close to being good. Anyway, Patton Oswalt plays the husband’s dorky friend, whom Tara’s sister ditches to date a hotter, more successful guy. I wonder how Patton Oswalt feels about being typecast as the Unattractive Guy, which he also played (impressively and hilariously) in Young Adult. 

Here he is looking pretty cute.

Here he is looking grouchy on a bus bench. But it's hard to be otherwise on a bus bench.

He’s probably cool with it, because I suspect he’s an incredibly smart and well-adjusted person. In fact, I think I have a tiny crush on him, possibly dating back to the time I saw him do stand-up at Largo. He had a bit about how Yoshinoya must be a front for some shady business, because a “beef bowl” was the most unappetizing possible way to present meat.

I was listening to an old Adam Carolla podcast this morning, and he was the guest. They were talking about the then-recent Kanye/Taylor Swift/Beyonce brouhaha. (Bread and Bread: for all your 2009 pop culture criticism needs.) That got them talking about how Beyonce was super talented, not just some Paris Hilton-type celebrity (Paris Hilton being the Kim Kardashian of 2009). Adam mentioned meeting Destiny’s Child way back in the day. They all kicked ass a cappella, he said; too bad those other girls disappeared into oblivion.

Another benefit of being behind the scenes: no camo-kini required.

Patton Oswalt interrupted to say something along the lines of, “But that’s just what the public thinks—I guarantee you that they’re sought-after studio musicians. You can be so successful in this business without ever being a household name. But everyone likes to perpetuate these myths that people are plucked out of nowhere into stardom, and that they become nobody again after their fifteen minutes. Sometimes people do other jobs, but it’s usually to support a serious artistic pursuit.”

Thank you, Patton Oswalt! I love that he’s using his fame—even Unattractive Guy fame—to help redefine America’s bullshit relationship with fame. I aspire to be the Kelly Rowland of the writing world.

Who’s your unlikely crush?