soyjoy to the world

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Today at work, a small cardboard box from Walmart arrived in the mail. Inside was a SOYJOY bar and a SOYJOY brochure promoting SOYJOY’s “Whole Soy. Real Fruit. Longer-Lasting Energy.”

Jamie: There’s something weird about randomly getting food in the mail.

Cheryl: I hate it when foods advertise that they’re made with “real” fruit or “real” cheese or whatever. If the best thing you can say about food is that it’s food, it’s probably not that good.

Jamie: I wonder if it’s made with non-GMO soy.

Cheryl: It doesn’t say it is, so it probably isn’t. What’s GMO?

Jamie: Genetically modified. There’s something bad about genetically modified soybeans, but I can’t remember what right now.

Cheryl: I wonder if it has any recalled peanuts in it.

Jamie: I’m just going to throw it away.

Cheryl: No, don’t! I’ll totally eat it.

Comments

Tracy Lynn said…
I am now convinced that you are the little sister I always wanted but wasn't allowed to have because my mom had Fathead instead.
February 5, 2009 at 10:40 AM
Una said…
And, how did it taste?
February 5, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Cheryl said…
TL: Aw, shucks. I'd totally share my last SOYJOY bar with you.

U: I just ate it this morning. It's like a cross between tofu and bread that has been soaked in fruit juice. But I don't mean that in a bad way.
February 5, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Anonymous said…
More importantly, how do I have food made from real food sent to my office for free?
I've been eating the fake stuff that costs money.
February 5, 2009 at 5:01 PM
Cheryl said…
There's a good chance that it was actually sent to the graphic design firm that lived here before us. So I guess the answer to your question is: Become a graphic designer, run up a few mysterious debts, then move without leaving a forwarding address.
February 5, 2009 at 5:38 PM
Prince Gomolvilas said…
This should be performed on stage in a theater.
February 6, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Peter Varvel said…
Have you read or heard that consuming soy products causes men to be more effeminate?
Allegedly?
That might explain a lot about me.
And I agree with Prince.
February 6, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Cheryl said…
PG: The SOYJOY Dialgoues. I'm into it!

PV: I have heard that! I knew a mom who wouldn't feed her two-year-old son veggie meat products because of that. I mean, she was pretty progressive (as moms who keep up on soy news usually are), so I think she would have been fine if he turned out gay, but I guess she drew the line at him actually growing breasts. Some people are so closed-minded.
February 6, 2009 at 3:42 PM
the last noel said…
Um, tell me if you've noticed any side effects. Like is there a new appendage sprouting.
February 6, 2009 at 5:55 PM
Cheryl said…
If I end up looking like that three-eyed nuclear fish on The Simpsons, I'll buy a case of SOYJOY. That fish is awesome.
February 6, 2009 at 6:10 PM
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