AK stalks Craigslist the way I stalk DSW.com, so last night we had field-level Dodger tickets for the price of nosebleeds (and I wore great shoes: silver-and-gray Converse with little splashes of orange that matched my nail polish).
I learned a few important things:
1) On the field level—which probably has a more official name—there are nice bathrooms, and they sell Wetzel’s Pretzels instead of generic brand soft pretzels that aren’t so soft anymore.
2) Sitting next to fans of the visiting team who have strong lungs is not all that fun. One of them made his own blue T-shirt that said “Mannyroids,” which, for people who know as much about baseball as I do, alludes to Manny Ramirez, who was suspended for taking performance-enhancing drugs but is now back.
Normally I don’t think of zillionaire athletes who cheat to get ahead as underdogs, but after a while I started to feel sorry for the guy. Not that sorry, but a little. Partly because there’s a whole culture and industry pressuring athletes to do drugs, and that same culture/industry seems a little hypocritical when it punishes the guys who succumb to it. Partly because public humiliation administered by idiots just seems tacky. I guess the Braves fan next to us gets points for actually going to Michael’s and purchasing iron-on letters and applying them with what I have to admit was excellent spacing. Then again, maybe he loses points.
3) Boys puff their chests up and look like pigeons when they’re about to fight.
4) Whenever I watch baseball, I realize how many phrases come from baseball. Like, I’ll see a ball say over the field and think, Wow, he almost hit it out of the park. Hey! That’s why people say “He really hit it out of the park!” when someone does something impressive.
5) You can get three points (“Runs,” said AK. “In baseball they’re called runs, not points.”) at once if there are guys on first and second and you hit a home run. If it’s the bottom of the ninth inning and your team was losing up until now, this is pretty cool.