My latest TV binge is the first two seasons of United States of Tara , which is a frustrating show because it comes sooo close to being good. Anyway, Patton Oswalt plays the husband’s dorky friend, whom Tara’s sister ditches to date a hotter, more successful guy. I wonder how Patton Oswalt feels about being typecast as the Unattractive Guy, which he also played (impressively and hilariously) in Young Adult . Here he is looking pretty cute. Here he is looking grouchy on a bus bench. But it's hard to be otherwise on a bus bench. He’s probably cool with it, because I suspect he’s an incredibly smart and well-adjusted person. In fact, I think I have a tiny crush on him, possibly dating back to the time I saw him do stand-up at Largo. He had a bit about how Yoshinoya must be a front for some shady business, because a “beef bowl” was the most unappetizing possible way to present meat. I was listening to an old Adam Carolla podcast this morning, and he was the guest....
Everything Cheryl does, she’s totally joking and completely serious. --AK 2,628,000 minutes 2.6 million moments so dear 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure, measure five years? In new jobs , in boob jobs , in blog posts, in cups of coffee In coffee, more coffee, in coffee, and tea In 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure five extra years? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love Seasons of love 2,628,000 minutes 2.6 million plans gone awry 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure public places I’ve cried ? In grants that I wrote, and novels on the side Facebook rabbit holes are no source of pride It’s time to kiss Dashaboo Though he’s sticky with jam Let’s celebrate, remember five years Of making people deal with who I am Remember the love Remember the love Remember the love Measure in love Rent rent rent rent reeeee...
1. merging onto the information superhighway in an ’87 toyota tercel This seems like a question that a savvy young-ish person with a blog and no less than five online profiles shouldn’t have to ask, but…how do you get a website? (This is not rhetorical: I’m hoping that you—savvy young-ish Bread and Bread readers—will tell me.) I mean, like, I know I have to buy a domain name and stuff, but who should I buy it from? And does that same entity host it on their server? Which hosts (is that even the right word?) are cheap but won’t bombard visitors with ads promising a free dinner at Chili’s if they can identify a celebrity senior portrait that is clearly Tom Hanks? I’ve resisted building a site because I’m lazy and a late adopter, but it looks like the inte rn et is here to stay. And the first step in being a Real Live Professional Writer is having a Real Live Professional website, right? Okay, arguably the first step is “writing some stuff.” But I’ve toiled at step one lo...
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