Tuesday, January 06, 2009

in loving memory of my toshiba satellite, 2004-2009

[Mac voice]: Hi, I’m a Mac. All your friends have me. I’m shiny and pretty and easy to use, and made for people who like to think of themselves as arty, as you clearly do, Ms. Thrift Store Sweater. I’m also perfect for people who really hate when things break or become completely obsolete after four and a half years, and let’s face it: You’re technologically very lazy. I’ll look so cute sitting next to AK’s little black Mac—-you should get the white version of me so we can be all ebony-and-ivory. Oh, by the way, I cost a bazillion dollars.

[PC voice]:
Hi, I’m a PC. An Acer Aspire, specifically—-don’t you like how my name implies that you’re already hoping for something better? Kind of like the Ford Aspire, and we know how well things turned out with Ford! Your dad found me on the sale shelf at Best Buy and assures you that I’m “as good as an eMachine.” If you go with me, you will feel worthy of your dad’s love and generosity. You might as well just stab that MacBook through his heart, not that he would ever say so. And admit it, all you ever do is type and blog and cruise Facebook, which I think I can handle-—I just won’t do it with the culty flourish of Mac Attack over there. But hey, if you want to pray to Xenu, be my guest.


[Confused, slightly pathetic Cheryl voice]:
Suggestions, anyone?

18 comments:

Peter Varvel said...

Omg, no!
"technologically very lazy" = me, which = just as confused and slightly pathetic as you.
There, there. You're surrounded by experts on the other end of this sad extreme that defines us, both online and in real life, I'll bet!

CC said...

I'm going to quote my TV repair guy: "You buy s---, you get s---." Not that he's the source of all wisdom, the guy's had my TV about four weeks now...

Tracy Lynn said...

Actually, Acer makes very good machines. My brother has one, and LOVES his. He actually uses all of it, much more than you or I would.

I think MAC is ridiculously expensive, and the only thing I thought was different was the operating system, which, now that I use and love Vista, is not even an issue.

Try the Acer.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

I have never been a Mac person either. I just treat my PCs very well, and they have lasted me ridiculously long periods of time. So: fuck you, Mac!

Cheryl said...

PV: Where other people store knowledge about Gs and WiFi and RAM in their brains, we have musical theater lyrics. I wouldn't have it any other way.

C.C.: Yeah, how is the TV these days? Maybe we should bring it flowers and a mylar balloon.

TL: You're one of the first people I've talked to who's had actual experience with an Acer (or, well, actual-adjacent experience). Good to know!

Cheryl said...

PG: I am not sure I treat my PCs well. I memorialize them lovingly in my blog, but I also download things that make them run slow.

I kind of want to see a Mac/PC flame war in my comments section. Thanks, y'all, for your initial fighting words!

Erin said...

I don't like Macs because everyone tells me I *should*. I have had very few problems with PC's, and had plenty of trouble with a Mac I had to use at a few years ago.. It might be my anti-Mac energy that is messing with the Mac juju. Anyway, I love my PC. Just sayin'.

Cheryl said...

My problem is that I rely almost entirely on juju when I should probably start with the control panel.

CC said...

Wow, quite the pro-PC brigade! I can't help chiming in for Macs. I had to switch from PC to Mac at work, and aside from mail-merging, just about every task I do is slightly quicker and slightly more intuitive on the Mac. Mac's operating system also doesn't try to "help" you as much as Windows, meaning you're allowed to do what you're trying to do without automated shortcuts.

There. I said it. Call me what you will!

Tracy Lynn said...

But I think that Cheryl, who is a darling, may very well NEED that help. I could be wrong, but somehow I doubt I am.

CC said...

Re the automated help: Because PC's have more options, which you may or may not want to use, they have to build in "help" systems to keep you away from back alleys. Macs don't need those "help" systems because there aren't so many back alleys to wander down.

You actually need less expertise to run a Mac--we're all so used to having to navigate Windows that Macs can seem confusing at first because everything is simpler.

And, of course, everything I'm saying is subjective. But Macs are definitely more beginner-friendly, in my experience.

christine said...

I love my mini-PC. (Dell x300 before they canceled the flyweight consumer model and moved it the the business line.) It's 4.33 years old and still in good shape.

I'm a PC fan. More bang for the buck. More free software. Less expensive components. Easier to replace components. Less pretentious in general. Way less pretentious at the cafe. How many of those cafe writers have already published two books, anyway?

I like some of my Mac friends, though. (Like CC, say)

Claire said...

My first computer was an Apple since that's what my college used. When it finally died around 7 years later, I went with a more economically priced PC. I spent a lot of time calling tech support during the 4 or so years I had it. Much aggravation.

I've had an iMac for over 4 years with very little trouble. It started spitting CDs out near the end of my 3 yr extended warranty, but it couldn't have been simpler to drop off and get fixed. He also gave it a new power supply and motherboard while he was at it since those were watch items for my model. If you live close to an Apple store, you could forgo the extended warranty and just take it in to the genius bar if you had any trouble with it. If parts were needed, then there'd be a fee.

I'm looking to get another iMac this year, but I'm waiting for it to be upgraded and for the new operating system to be released (hopefully in the next few months).

If you're deadset on a laptop, PC is probably the way to go for the price.

Cheryl said...

C.C.: I think you're witnessing a backlash, one I have to admit to finding a teensy bit refreshing. As for what I'll call you, I'll probably stick with baby.

Christine: I do like me some bang for my buck. If I wanted to go full cafe-pretentious, I'd need to be working a screenplay (while on the Westside) or maybe a manifesto (on the Eastside).

Claire: Seven years! That's how long a computer should last. (I can't help thinking that way--I grew up with a toaster and vacuum cleaner that we inherited from my grandmother.)

Laura and the family said...

Cheryl, I've asked my husband, David to share his opinion about the PC and Mac computer. Even though, he and I are experts in using PC and still using PC. However, he has heard from another scholar friend who now is hooked to MAC for three reasons.

1) It never crashes (PC does) that's good news.

2) It is a lot faster than PC.

3) It provides full 64 bits. PC provides more complicates bits than the Mac.

I wish you the best of luck on making your final decision.

Cheryl said...

Thanks for consulting David--as a techy guy, I'm not surprised he uses a PC. But I do like my bits uncomplicated, which makes the Mac appealing. :-)

Una said...

Cheryl - Hi!

Henry and I are a house divided - he with his PC and me with my Mac. He knows how to get good deals on techy stuff, in case you want to go with PC and want to be price sensible.

I have a Mac and I like it. I don't miss the blue-screen-of-death that accompanied my PC. The shortcuts on Mac are less intuitive than on a PC but perhaps you don't use shortcuts and that's not an issue. Another cool thing about Mac: apple care.

Cheryl said...

Thanks, Una. It actually looks like my old laptop has been given a reprieve (I feel like maybe I should rename it Lazarus), but I may see out you and Henry when I'm back in the market.