how to be a very, very popular hotel

-

I’m in New York for work right now, and so far every meeting we’ve had has begun with someone saying, “You just missed the great weather!”

It’s rainy and windy, and the weekend is supposed to be worse. I’m spending my days working and my evenings working some more (teaching my online class). So I’m not exactly living the Sex and the City life, or, more lamentably, the Cheryl and AK Fall 2009 life.

(Although I have eaten some delicious and fascinating food at some of our meetings—I have new-found respect for snow fungus, ginko nuts, quinoa and winter squash. Not that it ever occurred to me to disrespect ginko nuts previously.)

But if I’m going to be trapped inside, I’m trapped inside the right place: Our Chelsea “guest house” is the cutest, queeniest place ever. (So much so that they have a completely different pricing and cancellation policy during Pride season.) The theme is classic movies, and every room has a different star’s name. I’m in the Sheree North room.

You know, Sheree North? Star of The Way to the Gold and No Down Payment and How to Be Very, Very Popular?

Yeah, I didn’t know either. But the posters around my room are educating me quickly. There’s a resident black-and-white cat named Charlie Chaplin (don’t call it a Hitler mustache), and the password for the wireless is Judy Garland’s real name. When the super hospitable guy at the front desk gave it to me, I was like, “Hey, that’s Judy Garland’s real name!” Which I knew from Geoff Ryman’s incredible work of speculative fiction, Was. But I momentarily flashed back to my undergrad years, when I prided myself on being a sixty-year-old gay man.

There are thick towels in the room, LOGO on TV and free chocolate at the front desk 24 hours a day. I’m not going anywhere on Saturday.

Comments

Peter Varvel said…
Frances Gumm (gay-from-waaay-back).
Chocolate 24/7? Jealous!
March 12, 2010 at 10:23 PM
Cheryl said…
You could totally hack into the wireless here!
March 13, 2010 at 9:26 AM
Tracy Lynn said…
Sweet. My gays generally tell me I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I would prove it, but Peter ruined it for me.
March 13, 2010 at 9:53 AM
Kat said…
I stayed at the same place! (Chelsea Pines, right?) I had the basement room right behind the front desk. Loved watching the feet go by. I've forgotten who the actor was, though. Decent rates and so convenient to everything.
March 13, 2010 at 10:56 AM
Jesi said…
i knew Sheree North. but then again i'm a big fan of Marilyn Monroe, North was a Marilyn wannabe/replacement. and i'm also into old movie stars.
March 16, 2010 at 5:17 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

soleil for a day

-
Image
1. cirque love Since starting gymnastics at age five—or at least since reading Geek Love in college—I’ve wanted to run away and join the circus. Actually, the problem was that I wanted to join the circus but I didn’t want to run away. How fortunate, then, that AK found out about Cirque School , where you can lea rn the trapeze arts without ever leaving L.A. She gave me a class for my birthday, which I finally redeemed last night (after reading up on it, I decided it sounded kind of hardcore, and that I needed to build up some flexibility and upper body strength before going—I’m not sure that happened, but a month passed, I was a little closer to reuniting with my left splits and I was itching to take the class). The classes are held at Absolution L.A. , a small West Hollywood studio walled with honey-colored wood and stocked with pilates machines, trapezes, a climbing wall, red vinyl chairs and other items of expensive-looking fu rn iture. It reminded me, I told AK later,...
Read more

seasons of love

-
Image
Everything Cheryl does, she’s totally joking and completely serious.             --AK 2,628,000 minutes 2.6 million moments so dear 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure, measure five years? In new jobs , in boob jobs , in blog posts, in cups of coffee In coffee, more coffee, in coffee, and tea In 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure five extra years? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love Seasons of love 2,628,000 minutes 2.6 million plans gone awry 2,628,000 minutes How do you measure public places I’ve cried ? In grants that I wrote, and novels on the side   Facebook rabbit holes are no source of pride It’s time to kiss Dashaboo Though he’s sticky with jam Let’s celebrate, remember five years Of making people deal with who I am Remember the love Remember the love Remember the love Measure in love Rent rent rent rent reeeee...
Read more

is weight loss tv kind of unintentionally radical?

-
Image
Hear me out: I've been watching weight loss shows lately. Things with titles like 1,000 Lb Sisters. One of the shows is... 1,000 Lb Sisters. The other is 1,000 Lb Best Friends.  If you're not familiar with either of these shows, first, congratulations on having good taste and not consuming fat-shaming media. Also, here's my best attempt at a summary: The sisters in question are Amy and Tammy Slaton, who landed a TLC show that first aired in 2020 after their YouTube channel became a hit because they were genuinely funny and raunchy (lots of fart talk) and very fat. The premise of the TV show is that they will try to lose enough weight to qualify for bariatric surgery.  I assume there are medical reasons that people have to lose weight before they can have a medical procedure that helps them lose weight—to demonstrate that they can make the lifestyle changes that will be necessary after surgery? Because operating on someone with extreme amounts of extra fat is riskier? Nevert...
Read more