Courtesy of J.P., Akbar craft captain and holiday philosopher:
Thank you for the very weird experience of a holiday that suffers from gross historical distortion, but still has the gleanings of a message that endures (the concept of gratitude and celebration of the harvest). Despite all the starvation, disease, nasty catty fights about real-estate, back-stabbing, maize, muskets, hats with buckles, pretty head-dresses, small pox, the Narragansets and the Puritans...we’re essentially thankful for mostly everything.
I guess. Whatever.
I would say “tofurky,” but other than that, I couldn’t have said it better myself.