treat yourself!

AK and I have very different relationships to illness. I have a high pain threshold but worry that every new ache or bump or freckle is a sign of a life-threatening illness. AK is not a worrier, period, but when she’s hurting, you’re gonna know about it. She would, preferably, like a battalion of friends to gather round with chicken soup anytime she coughs.

This morning I had a follow-up to my 2009 boob ultrasound, which I’d been worrying about off and on for weeks. In a heroic attempt to let me get some sleep in my precarious mental state, AK threw our noisy cats out of the room at 6 a.m. On the way back to bed, she slammed her toe into the cat tree and broke it.

So, as you can imagine, we were both at our best.

The good news is that my boobs are cancer-free (so when some guy leaned out of his car and yelled, “Nice titties!” on my way home, I had to agree). A trip to urgent care confirmed that AK’s pinky has a spiral-shaped fracture (that is her actual x-ray on the left), but other than a limp, she’s good.

So there we were with a free afternoon and light hearts.* Enter Parks and Recreation again: We’d just watched an episode in which Donna and Tom celebrate “Treat Yourself” day. They dine out and go to the mall and try on outrageous clothing. When one of them asks, “Should I get this?” the answer is always “Treat yourself!”

AK had to go back to work (not a treat!), but we did make time for lunch (build-our-own-burgers at Jake’s in Pasadena), and then I treated myself to a little Treat Yourself! at J. Crew and Forever 21. Nothing I bought was over $20, but it is possible to go broke in $20 increments. I’m hoping this habit of mine will settle down once I stop fashion blogging. But not today. Today I’m playing fuckabout (as Kaply calls it) with nothing on my to-do list; it’s crazy how long it’s been since I had a day like this. Today I’m treating myself.

*Well, as light as a heart can be when it knows how ridiculous and unfair and random the world is. Every time I go into the strangely spa-like breast center, I think about how not everyone will leave there with good news. Not everyone even gets to go there if they don’t have insurance. And I think, Why shouldn’t I be the one who gets bad news? even as I desperately hope that I won’t be.