Wednesday, February 04, 2009

soyjoy to the world

Today at work, a small cardboard box from Walmart arrived in the mail. Inside was a SOYJOY bar and a SOYJOY brochure promoting SOYJOY’s “Whole Soy. Real Fruit. Longer-Lasting Energy.”

Jamie: There’s something weird about randomly getting food in the mail.

Cheryl: I hate it when foods advertise that they’re made with “real” fruit or “real” cheese or whatever. If the best thing you can say about food is that it’s food, it’s probably not that good.

Jamie: I wonder if it’s made with non-GMO soy.

Cheryl: It doesn’t say it is, so it probably isn’t. What’s GMO?

Jamie: Genetically modified. There’s something bad about genetically modified soybeans, but I can’t remember what right now.

Cheryl: I wonder if it has any recalled peanuts in it.

Jamie: I’m just going to throw it away.

Cheryl: No, don’t! I’ll totally eat it.


Tracy Lynn said...

I am now convinced that you are the little sister I always wanted but wasn't allowed to have because my mom had Fathead instead.

Una said...

And, how did it taste?

Cheryl said...

TL: Aw, shucks. I'd totally share my last SOYJOY bar with you.

U: I just ate it this morning. It's like a cross between tofu and bread that has been soaked in fruit juice. But I don't mean that in a bad way.

Anonymous said...

More importantly, how do I have food made from real food sent to my office for free?
I've been eating the fake stuff that costs money.

Cheryl said...

There's a good chance that it was actually sent to the graphic design firm that lived here before us. So I guess the answer to your question is: Become a graphic designer, run up a few mysterious debts, then move without leaving a forwarding address.

Prince Gomolvilas said...

This should be performed on stage in a theater.

Peter Varvel said...

Have you read or heard that consuming soy products causes men to be more effeminate?
That might explain a lot about me.
And I agree with Prince.

Cheryl said...

PG: The SOYJOY Dialgoues. I'm into it!

PV: I have heard that! I knew a mom who wouldn't feed her two-year-old son veggie meat products because of that. I mean, she was pretty progressive (as moms who keep up on soy news usually are), so I think she would have been fine if he turned out gay, but I guess she drew the line at him actually growing breasts. Some people are so closed-minded.

the last noel said...

Um, tell me if you've noticed any side effects. Like is there a new appendage sprouting.

Cheryl said...

If I end up looking like that three-eyed nuclear fish on The Simpsons, I'll buy a case of SOYJOY. That fish is awesome.